Wawa and DFD, how I miss thee.

This morning, I want a bagel and a cup of coffee, since I have neither of those things in my house at this moment. I want to go to one of two places:

1) Wawa. I want to pull into the parking lot, go in, place my order on a touch screen, pour a cup of coffee for myself and then pay and leave. The coffee will be perfect and the bagel will be just right.

2) I want to go to a Dunkin' Fuckin' Donuts and go through the drive through, and basically get the same aforementioned menu items. The quality won't be as good as Wawa, but it'll still satisfy in a short amount of time.

Eating in your car just isn't the same big business here... *sigh* You'd think it was another country or something...

Meetings

Sometimes, it is best to plagiarize from other people's blogs. I refer you to this, but in case you don't want to click on the link, I'll quote directly:

"Let me tell you, there's nothing more fantastic than an orchestra players association meeting. It's when all of the positive feelings flow forth like water from a fire hydrant, and you are reaffirmed that all your hard work has lead you to a career in which with each passing year you will become increasingly grateful for the opportunity to be a part of a group of inspired artists."

Yup, it was that good.

Parties

Turns out, the parties are better in Canada, too! DS threw a world class bbq yesterday that was successful on all counts, methinks. Great food, great beer, and great company. Probably a little too much of the "great beer" for me, but I'm about to go to the gym and work it all off.

Ok, I may or may not have mentioned this, but I joined a gym. And I even have a personal trainer, a friendly Canadian jock... er, well, yeah, he's a jock. Its really interesting to learn about how all the muscles in my body work (or don't work, as the case may be). I already feel stronger, and the cardio is already helping to improve my loud horn playing. It is a little odd to hear him talk about breathing, possibly because I have given WAY more thought to breathing than the average person. He tried to tell me that I have a large lung capacity the other day and I just had to correct him. "You can't change your lung capacity, you can just use what you've got more efficiently." He laughed at me.

So I'm off to have my ass kicked. Hope you're all well.

Afghaniwhere?

While the Iraq War continues to make headlines in the United States, I'm finding the lack of certain media issues to be rather refreshing. Here's a list:

1) George Bush. I don't have to see his monkey-ass face NEARLY as much on CBC News as I did on any major US news. I consider this a serious improvement in the quality of my life.

2) Iraq. Canada is involved in the near-forgotten war in Afghanistan. Not Iraq. America went to Afghanistan for a reason. America went to Iraq for the wrong reasons. And not that I don't want to hear about how inadequately the Bush administration is handling

3) Weather. Weather is news here, but it doesn't seem to encompass everyone's lives like it does on the local (and network) news in the States. Perhaps I need to watch more local news. On second thought, maybe not.

4) Katie Couric. I caught one "episode" of her on the CBS nightly news. Ugh. She's just too damn cute to take seriously. I would say that the lack of Katie Couric is one of the main things that Canada has going for it. But "Things Canada Has Going For It" is a different list.

Grey's Anatomy

Ok, I love Grey's Anatomy. I love it way more than I ever liked ER. And I seriously hope that the writers and producers of GA have the decency to end it before it jumps the shark like ER. But I digress.

Last night I tuned in to the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy on CTV (presumably this stands for "Canadian Tele Vision") at 8 pm. But what I got didn't really seem to match what had happened in the finale from last season. So I presumed that the Canadian network was a week ahead of the American network (in this case, ABC) and I filled in the holes myself. I knew that the actual season premiere was going to be on at 9 on ABC. So I watched them backwards.

Turns out that CTV messed up. Something happened with the satellite feed and they actually did broadcast the second episode of the season. The funniest thing about this article is that people are genuinely upset about this, though! I thought it was a little strange that things were seemingly backwards. It would be, after all, the first time something ever happened in Canada before it happened in the States. Seriously, though, ITS A TELEVISION SHOW! THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT REAL!

I know, Reader(s), what you're thinking. If its not a big deal, why am I blogging about it? The best answer I can come up with is this: Because I can. Oh, wait, I just came up with a better one: Because its better than bitching about the awful pops concert this weekend.

Liberty Mutual Ad (Responsibility: What's Your Policy?)

I just saw this for the first time, and I think it is incredibly well done. Sure, its an advertisement (for insurance, no less) but I have to admit that its impressive on many counts.

p.s. youtube rules.

Talk much?

Nissan X-Trail - Bonavista

Newfoundland is like West Virginia. Nobody understands what they're saying, and they are the butt of many a joke. I love this commercial, airing about a million times a day here in Calgary. But, of course, lots of people are offended. Can't anyone take a joke?

And thanks to the miracle of YouTube, here it is.

Learning to Speak Canadian, eh?

"Toque."

noun.

pronounced: "Tewk."

definition: a knit hat that one wears in winter.

(But its not a baseball cap or a cowboy hat. Those can be referred to as simply "hat.")

example: When I go to the gym today for a yoga class, since I will have to be outside for a little bit, I will put on my pink toque that I like to wear so my head doesn't get cold.

usage:
(1) "Nice toque."
(2) "Don't forget your toque, eh?"
(3) "We're getting personalized toques for the curling team! Each one is going to have our name and our favorite beer embroidered on the front!"

Know thy food.

I've always known it was better to buy local produce... there's a variety of reasons for this. You are supporting the local economy, there's less pollution released into the air from shipping produce long distances, and you actually get some sense of where your food comes from. I've noticed that the stuff labeled "Product of Canada" in the grocery store is not only cheaper than the stuff shipped long distances, but its in better shape, too. And "product of canada" doesn't even really mean its local! Calgary is a long way from most everywhere. And, just a hunch, I don't think they're growing many tomatoes in the Rockies these days.

So the whole bagged spinach E. Coli scare should be raising a whole bunch of questions about our food. The fact that the government investigators can't figure out where the contamination occurred should be a wake up call. Ever think about just how far your spinach has to travel from a farm in CA to a supermarket in rural PA? Having recently made a similarly long drive myself, I wouldn't wish that on anyone, even a bag of spinach. I suppose its nothing short of a miracle that it makes it in one piece. But that raises questions in my mind, too. What are they doing to that spinach? And do I really want to put that into my body?

I know that it is probably a little unrealistic to think that we will someday all only eat locally grown, organic produce, free from E. Coli contamination and picked by the well-paid legal worker down the street. (After all, its hard to grow bananas in Calgary at this time of year.)
But maybe, just maybe, something good can come out of this. Maybe we'll all start really thinking about where our food comes from, and make some choices with our dollars (or loonies) next time we're in the supermarket.

New Candy Bars

There are different candy bars here. Yesterday I went out on a limb and bought something called "Coffee Crisp" with a tagline, "Makes a nice light snack." And it does. Its like a big Kit Kat bar, flavored with coffee. Yum.

Coffee Crisp is my "favorite thing about Canada" today.

Who says classical music is boring?

Read this. It'll give you a giggle.

Oh Oh Canada

My second rendition of Oh Canada was better than the first. I would say I was a little less tentative. When I stand and play that particular anthem, to which I have (until recently) had no emotional or patriotic attachment to, it reminds me that I'm really here. I've worked really hard and I'm still working really hard. I daresay I almost got bleary-eyed the other night as I played a national anthem that isn't my own, thinking about how I was actually- FINALLY- doing what I've always dreamed of doing. Living the American Dream? Hardly. Living the Canadian Dream? Is there such a thing? Shit, who cares what nationality of dream it is. Its My Dream.

Oh Canada

That's all I know. The Canadian National Anthem is a lovely tune, though. Its easy to sing, a pretty melody, and if everyone is playing in the right key (which we were), its a nice little song. Way easier to sing than the SSB. That thing is tough. Its a bad idea to have a national song that its hard to sound good on.

There's no getting anything past Maestro Minczuk. Even the slightest smallest cracks, and you get a small look. Its not a "pissed off" look. Nor is it an "amused" look. Its more like, "I heard that and you know it was you so it better not happen again" look.

Mahler 5 was great. Its so great to sit in the middle of sound like that, as it is happening. And the principal horn, Rob... man. He can play. He nailed those solos to the wall tonight. It was incredible to listen to. While I don't agree with everything that Rob does, his playing is so solid... I really admire it.

So, readers, there you have it. It was good. And now, thanks to the lack of horn writing during the Baroque period, I have another four days off. This should be a little better than the last four days off, though. I have a TV and high speed internet now to keep me amused. Yay!

Crushes and Nerves

I have a maestro crush.

My first maestro crush was this guy, the larger than life Simon Rattle. (Apparently I'm not the only one. He has a fan club!)

And now, my second maestro crush is this guy, Roberto Minczuk. Now, granted, he's not as cute as Sir Simon. But he's an incredible musician, with a commanding presence and incredible leadership skills. Apparently he is one hell of a horn player too.

And that means that he makes me nervous. I'm nervous about a lot of things in tonight's opening concert.

1) When they passed out the music to O Canada in rehearsal today, I had a "Gee, Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore!" moment. I had to ask all sorts of silly questions-- does it start with a drumroll? (It does.) Why is the first measure crossed out? (Because its dumb.) How fast does this go? (About as fast as the SSB.) Do we stand? (Yes.)

Of course we didn't rehearse it. I really wish we had.

2) I'm nervous that I don't quite have this hall's acoustics quite right yet. While its a beautiful hall both physically and acoustically, the acoustics on stage take some getting used to. I have to play way further ahead of the beat than I ever have before.

A few weeks ago I was worried that I don't have a good "intermediate jacket." You know, something warm but not super-warm to wear on those cool autumnal evenings... Apparently I won't be needing one, though, since it was 36 degrees fahrenheit this morning. And I don't think its much warmer than that now. (I will thank CMH and Spot in advance for not reminding me of just how warm their jobs in Spanish-speaking countries are.)

I know its going to get a LOT colder than this, but sheesh, this sucks.

Adventures

I went to the grocery store again tonight. The Canadian grocery store cracks me up. First off, everything is in French and English. Can't tell you how many times I've picked something off the shelf and stared at it for a few seconds before realizing, "Oh, right. I don't speak French." Its sort of easy to see why people on this side of Canada are often so anti-French. It permeates their lives, and yet, I've only met two francophones since I've been here. I've see more people speaking Asian languages than I have speaking French.

I didn't realize that I had developed such a brand loyalty. Maybe not brand loyalty, maybe I'm just a creature of habit. I knew that I liked to buy the Shop Rite generic brand cheese and the Nasoya Tofu and the Quaker Oats in the round cardboard box. I can't find Nasoya Tofu, cheese seems really expensive, and Quaker Oats only come in a bag....

I'm not complaining, merely noting that sometimes you have to go to a supermarket in Calgary to learn something about yourself.

Yes, I even dress myself in the mornings

Yesterday I woke up and got dressed. No big deal, right? I put on pants and a shirt. I thought there was something funny about my shirt but didn't really take the next step in finding out what might possibly be wrong. (You know where this is going, don't you?)

As I walked out the door to play some duets with BH, the second horn player, I ran through my checklist:

1) Horns? Yes.
2) Mouthpiece? Yes.
3) Music? Yes.
4) Keys? Yes.

Ok, lets roll!

After an hour of playing and seeing the Rocky Mountain Alphorn workshop (see link at sidebar), I was putting my horns in the trunk of the car when KH, B's wife, comes up to me and whispers in my ear, "Lauren, your shirt is on inside out. I don't think B noticed, but I thought you would want to know. I've done it myself, so don't worry about it."

**5 seconds of sheer mortification**
**Another 5 seconds of hilarious laughing**

I have to add something to my checklist:

5) Shirt on right side out?

At least I didn't show up to rehearsal with our new music director like that.

*Laughing*

Canadians are Funny.

So, there are lots of things that are funny about Canada. A shoutout to Spot, who, even from Valencia, still manages to keep it current by drawing my attention to things like this.

So Canada is funny. In particular, Calgary is funny. And the Canadian accent is downright hilarious. (Why would anyone talk like that?Really, its almost annoying!) Anyway, being from the East Coast, I expect certain things (for better or for worse):

1) I will jaywalk. I know that all thirty of you damn Canucks are going to stand there while there isn't a car in sight waiting for the light to turn. But dammit, I don't have time for that.

2) If the light is yellow, that means hit the accelerator, not stop. Duh.

3) Humidity isn't all bad. Its so dry here that I think my sinuses have hardened completely.

4) Cowboy hats are not to be worn except on Halloween.

5) Is there a Halloween in Canada?

6) Same rule applies to cowboy boots. No cowboy boots except on Halloween (if there is one.)

7) If I say I'm from the East Coast, I mean the East Coast of THE USA, not Ontario.

8) I don't expect you to say thank you, excuse me, please, or you're welcome. I'm constantly surprised by how friendly people are around here.

9) I lived in Wisconsin and Finland, people. I know what its like when it gets cold. Please stop warning me about how cold it gets. I'm fully aware that it will be RATHER CHILLY for a RATHER LONG TIME (probably starting tonight).

Other funny things I've noticed:
1) The Calgary Police wear cowboy hats. (I didn't notice the shoes.)
2) The Western Wear store on Stephen Ave. is having a "Back to School" sale. This raises two questions:
(a) What are cowboys doing in downtown Calgary?
(b) Why are they sending their kids to school looking like that? Don't they know their child will be beat up for wearing stuff like that? (Oh wait, this is Canada, they're nonviolent here.)
3) Its "Fashion Week" in Calgary this week. WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN? Are they showcasing all of the latest in spurs and tack? Do we really NEED more sterling silver cowboy belt buckles?

Ok, that's all for now, folks. I'll have more to report on the job, the country, and the weather as things progress. If I can, I'll even post some photos.