Goodbye, fair blog....

Dear Reader(s)--

I guess you've noticed that I haven't posted much lately. I changed the format, ranted about New Years, and haven't really written anything since.

So I've decided to retire the ol' blog. Fact is, if you know me, you can call me up and say hi. I'd love to talk to you and hear what you're up to. And if you don't want to call, drop an email! And if you don't know me, why do you care? I'm not much of a writer, and my interest in ranting about politics or society has seriously waned in the last few months. For those of you who participated in the exceptional (sometimes bizzarre) comment wars on Wal Mart and other hot topics, I thank you for your interesting and (mostly) civil exchange of ideas.

I'm not taking the blog down. Hell, something might piss me off enough to post the occasional rant. And who knows, maybe it'll come up when someone types "Temple" into a search engine and they can be convinced not to go there. But mostly, thanks for reading and commenting, Reader(s).

Merry Fucking Christmas.

Resolve for 2006

What I don't want:

I don't want to be a union hack, one of those musicians that I meet on any and every gig. They don't sound bad, but they don't sound good. Really, can anyone that versatile be good at anything? I don't want to leave my comfy apartment and get in my car to drive 2 hours for a gig with other people just like me for $50 a service. I don't want to be 40 years old and worried about some kid coming out of Curtis taking all of my work. I don't want to take gigs just because its a gig. Don't I have better things to be doing?

What I do want:

I want to be a full time orchestral musician, with a few students, but enough clout to only take the good ones. I want to take gigs that are musically fulfilling. I don't mind if there is the occasional schlocky gig, as long as the other musicians can play in tune and I don't have to play second horn to some 35 year old mom who happens to know how to hold a horn. I want to feel priveliged to play with people who I respect musically. I don't want to complain about the paycheck and I don't want to bitch about the conductor (except occasionally, because isn't that half the fun?)

So here it is, a little early, but my New Years Resolution:

NO MORE SHITTY GIGS.

It might be that I can't afford NOT TO take these gigs, but in the long run, I don't think I can afford TO TAKE them. Right now, I love playing horn, and I don't want to lose that.

As MMG puts it, there are three rules to taking a gig, and the gig needs to fit two of them in order to take it:
1) It is INCREDIBLY lucrative. (And any gig that lucrative probably has some good people playing)
2) It is a really great experience. ("Gurrelieder? I've never played that, and probably never will again!") (Or, "Adam Unsworth, Cindy Carr, Doug Hill, and Froydis Wekre are all in the section but we can't afford to pay you, will you do it?" "Of course!")
3) Its REALLY easy. (i.e. It is across the street and I can show up in my pajamas.)

Now, obviously there are exceptions. If Gurrelieder only pays $20/service and its an hour away, I'll probably still do it, just for the experience of being one of a million people onstage. (When Philly did it a few years ago they had to make special extensions on the stage in the Academy. Who wouldn't want to be a part of something like that? But I digress.) Generally, I think these are probably good rules, as long as I take them seriously and every gig must qualify with two out of three.

Happy New Year. I have to go play high notes for Jesus now.

Change yer blog, change yer life....

I revamped the blog, as you may have noticed. This goes along with cleaning my apartment, organizing my paperwork, and overhauling my outlook. So here are some new things from the Ren:

1) I am done doing things for "the experience," particularly in music. I am doing this because I love it, I've spent a lot of time and money getting good at it, and I want to do well, NOT because I need "more experience."

2) I'm ok. Really. It really doesn't matter what you think of me or my past decisions. I don't care if you think I've dated too many men, eaten too much cheese, drank too much wine, or not exercised enough. I'm happy with my life and happy with my decisions.

3) It is NOT wrong to want to be with the right person. I don't date people because I need them for security or my own ego. I date them because I like them. And I'm finally seeing someone for all the right reasons, the number one reason being that I like him. :-)

4) Stuffing your emotions inside doesn't get anything accomplished. Period.

5) No more shitty gigs! I will not play with your crappy university orchestra for a pittance, "Just for the gig." I have better ways to waste my time that won't make me hate my horn or feel like a musical whore.

So these are all kinda like New Years Resolutions, but that's ok. New Years is soon. Just after Christmas, as a matter of fact....

Hope you are all well. I sure am.